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We have a List of Desirable Traits. Exactly why is it Difficult for Women to devote?

Reader matter:

Me: 46 yrs old, African-American male, expert job, homeowner, attractive, 20-year-old child. I date beyond my personal competition. Im in very good form.

It seems as much as ladies want a loyal relationship, they don’t really would you like to commit to me personally. I really do have a “list” of attractive attributes — attractive, able to care for her funds, a social or nondrinker and an individual who is actually ready and in a position to travel and do things.

Why is it difficult for women to make as I provide outward signs and symptoms of willing to maintain a committed union?

-Mark (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Solution:

Dear Mark,

Certainly, a lot of women can be behaving like males (or the way they THINK guys act) and so are keeping away from devotion. With that said, I will show you may still find far more women that wish a safe accessory than perhaps not.

I am questioning exactly why you may seem to-be drawn to women who prevent an excellent relationship. Could this end up being your option in goals?

My personal tip is to try to communicate with women that you might not initially end up being interested in and view should you decide warm up for them. Occasionally the failure to locate a safe connection relates to all of our fears of abandonment.

Simply put, we picked lovers exactly who can’t get close to protect united states from becoming “dangerously” shut and exposure abandonment.

Try dating the type of person you have never, ever dated before. Go-slow. And focus on your emotions as you go along.

Do you come to be easily jealous, need to get a handle on the woman time or wish to seal the deal too fast? The key is to include yourself and quell a fears.

No counseling or psychotherapy information: This site will not give psychotherapy guidance. This site is supposed just for use by buyers searching for basic info of great interest regarding dilemmas men and women may deal with as individuals plus relationships and associated topics. Content is not intended to change or act as replacement expert consultation or solution. Contained findings and viewpoints should not be misconstrued as particular counseling advice.

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